What a Waste of Lipstick

                                       

As we 21^st Century single ladies know it has become a world of online dating aka blind dating. I’ve been on more than a handful of online dates over the years and had truly felt that it couldn’t have gotten any worse……

Then to my wide eyed surprise….

Site: POF (Plenty of Fish)

Gentleman (Ha): Paul from Conn

It started with the usual back and forth emailing banter on the site, what’s your name? Where are you from? Blah blah blah. Then numbers are exchanged and it moves to text, God forbid anyone calls. Had my doubts about this man who actually started to throw a some red flags in a couple of his txt message, leading to a plan to meet but I said to myself, stop being so judgmental Danielle, take a chance, go outside your comfort zone, he could be nice.

Then came the day of the date. I still had no idea what we were doing or where we were meeting up until about 5pm that day and we planned to meet at 6pm. He sends a text that says “so you work in the garment district right?, if those food carts are still up maybe we can grab a beer and some food at one of the carts.” Wait seriously? He’s got to be joking right? I don’t respond because I’m still in shock and don’t know what to do. I should have canceled the date right then and there, but in came another text. “Or we could just pick a bar close to your office, I don’t know that area very well so maybe you can pick a place?”. I picked a place within walking distance from my office and headed over.

#1 He was late.

#2 He looked nothing like his picture.

Paul shows up and is throwing the compliments left and right. “You’re so pretty, even better than your pictures, your hair your eyes” you name it. Well how about you buddy? When were your pictures from? 10 years ago when you still went to the gym? I didn’t know you were expecting twins!! He then proceeds to complain about the bar that we were at and wanted to go somewhere more quiet. We walk to a restaurant/bar a couple of doors down and sit at the bar. He orders us a round of drinks and as I am watching and listening to him order I notice how rude he is being to the bar tender. I immediately start to feel uncomfortable and am calculating how I can make this one of the shortest dates in history. One drink and then I’ll go. Paul then mentions that he’s hungry and would like to order some appetizers. He asks if I’d like anything and I politely decline and say I have to get home early so don’t have time to eat. He insists on ordering apps for himself and he’s sure I’ll pick at them. As we are waiting for his food to come out, he says to the bar tender “can you top me off a bit more? I mean $12.00 for a cocktail should be filled to the top ya know?”. I’m mortified. The bar tender explains that the recipe of the Craft Cocktail he ordered calls for a certain pour and if he would like something else he can order it. At this point I am desperately scoping out the exit and how quickly I can make it out. The conversation is mostly about him and his house in Conn and how expensive it is in the city and he would never live here and Conn is so much better with his 1.5 hour commute to the city every day because it’s cheaper. All I hear is cheap and all this negativity about my city is a death sentence. Paul then eats all of the food, I eat half of one dumpling (eh why not right?). He then asks if I would like another drink and I tell him I really have to get going. Paul asks for the bill and then leans in close to me and says “so do you think you could give me some money towards the bill?, ya know I go on a lot of dates and I never know if I’m going to see the person again and it gets kind of expensive”. I respond with “are you kidding me? You’re asking me for money for a date that you asked me on? Never in my life has anyone asked me for money. Well you’re going to be going on a lot of dates that have the same outcome buddy”. I start to gather my things to leave, he is in shock. I then go into my bag and find a dollar. I say “look, I found a dollar” I throw it on the bar, “hope this helps your situation” and walked out.

Yes we would think it would be the end of this story, but no it gets better. As I’m running down the block to get as far away from Kevin as possible this looser is texting me that he didn’t pay my portion of the bill and that bar tender was running after me and that he had given the bar tender my phone number and work address (which he didn’t have). I laugh to myself in the middle of the street, block him from my phone and head back to the ues for a drink.

What a waste of lipstick!

More Amazing NYC Dating Stories to Come I’m Sure.

D

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