Wanted

Most of the women I’ve know in my life have gone through that I must date a rebel without a cause guy, that dangerous I know he’s no good guy, but there’s just something about him guy. This can be a phase that a girl goes through in her late teens to early 20’s, or it can continue on throughout her life. The choice belongs to the girl right? You grow up, you get over it or you don’t.

I myself have had experience with a “bad” guy once or twice, even ended up in a relationship for almost 3 years with one. I thankfully came to my senses and got out of it. I made the choice. I thought I could smell trouble a mile away after being through that experience. Thought I could detect the players, the cheaters, the dangerous ones…….the felons.

Sites: Tinder and POF

Gentlemen: Henry and Charles

We’ll start with Charles. From some part of New Jersey I’ve never heard of (not that I know many parts of New Jersey), great pic’s, good age, claimed to own a construction company. Seemed to have his shit together. This one actually called me before we made plans to meet so that we could chat and see if there was any kind of connection over the phone at least, and when we spoke it went quite well. Turns out that this part of Jersey is about an hour away from the city, which I thought could be a problem but he kept insisting that he loves coming into the city and takes the bus or train quite often for both work and pleasure. We plan a date and he comes into my neighborhood to meet for a drink. He’s another one that is late but showed up and was better looking then his pictures. Tall, handsome, fit, sweet face. The conversation was going very well chatting about how relieved we both were that we look like our pictures and were both pleasantly surprised. Normal background chitchat the interview begins and ends. Then he starts telling me that I’m better than he could ever had hoped for and that he had a feeling about me after we spoke, he’s “in love”, (you know how they say that to be charming), and wants to see me as much as possible. I tell him that’s very sweet but lets just enjoy the first date and take it from there. The rest of the date is lovely. We have dinner and a drink afterwards and then back to Jersey he went. He called me the next day and asked for a date that Sunday. I accepted and back on the bus he was. We meet for brunch and decide to hop around my neighborhood for a Sunday funday. We get to the second bar and all of a sudden he’s very serious and seems a little nervous. I ask him if he’s ok and he says that he has to tell me something because I’m the girl for him and he wants to have no secrets from me yada yada yada. I say ok go right ahead and tell me. He takes a deep breath and says

Charles: “so I got in trouble a little while ago”

Danielle: “what do you mean trouble?”

Charles: “I got in a fight and I hurt someone”

Danielle: “ok, were you arrested?”

Charles: “yes”

Danielle: “ok, what happened?”

Charles: “I was at a party in New Jersey and one of my friends got into a fight with another guy there and was getting beaten up and I went in to help him, a bigger fight then broke out from that and I pushed one of the other guys off of a small cliff”

Danielle: What?!?! Are you kidding me? Did he die?

Charles: “no but he was in the hospital for a while….I was defending myself and it just happened”

Danielle: “that’s crazy….ok, so why are you telling me this? Did you go to jail?”

Charles: “yes”

Danielle: “for how long?”

Charles: “a little over a year”

Danielle: “oh my God….what were you charged with?

Charles: “attempted murder….but then it was brought down to aggravated assault”

Whaaaaaaatttttttttt?!?!?! FML…

Danielle: “so you have a record for a felony?”

Charles: “yes…..I hope this doesn’t mean that you don’t want to see me”

I’m freaking out, thinking I’ve gotta get the hell out of here and as far away from this nut case as possible. I don’t want him to know this just yet so I can get home safe and then never see him again.

Danielle: “ok, well that’s a lot to take in, I’m glad that you were honest with me and told me….I’ve been in a relationship with someone with something like that in their past and it wasn’t good, so I need to take this and think about how I feel about it, ok?”

Charles: “sure, I hope that you let me see you again I really want to be with you….but there’s more that I need to tell you”

You’ve got to be kidding me. How do these people find me?!?!

Danielle: “what?”

Charles: “when I was in jail my nephew that I was very close to died in a car accident. When I got out of jail I was in a really bad place. I went out drinking one night with friends and drove home and got a DUI and had my license taken away for three years”

Danielle: “so you have a record and no drivers license? How do you get yourself around?

Charles: “I moved back in with my Dad when I got out and my family gives me rides to and from the train”

He lives with is Dad? This guy is 42 years old! I have to get out of here! I am trying to stay calm so I can keep him calm and get home ASAP.

Danielle: “wow, well Charles like I said this is a ton to take in on a second date and while I appreciate your honesty I’m not really sure how to feel about it and would like to think it over”

We finish our drinks and he walks me home. I go inside and am completely pissed off about what just went down. Of course he was handsome, nice and we had chemistry and he’s a fucking felon! I guess what they say about these free dating sites is true…..you get what you pay for.

Charles text messaged me the next day asking if he could see me again and I politely told him I just didn’t think we were a good fit.

We fast forward to a couple months later……on to Henry.

Henry and I match on Tinder and he we get all the basics down and plan a date. We meet for a drink. He’s kinda cute in his 40’s, short stocky guy, buzzed salt and pepper hair. Talks with a thick long island accent and is very funny. Everything is eh yo, and boo boo boo, bap bap bap…..I kinda felt like I was in a mix of the good fella’s and the soprano’s when hanging with him. We talk about family and what we like to do for fun, which were very similar, good solid convo. We then start to talk about our jobs and he’s explaining to me that he’s in sunglasses sales and has many “side” ventures all over the city, the Bronx and queens. When I ask him what kind of “side” ventures he says “ya know, a little bit of this, a little bit of that”. Hahaha! Did that seriously just happen? Yes he really said that! We finish our drinks I go home and have mixed feelings about the date. I figure maybe it’s worth a second date for the hell of it and I’ll wait to see if he contacts me.

Henry texts me the next day and asks if he can take me to dinner one night after work. We make the plan and here we are at a little sushi joint. We’re having a good time laughing and getting along and then the subject of travel comes up. We’re talking about places I’ve been and the he says “yeah well I’m glad that I finally have my passport back”.

Danielle: “what?…back? did you loose your passport?”

Henry: “nah….I have a record and wasn’t allowed to leave the country for a while”

Danielle: “ a record for what?”

Henry: “fraud”

Great..another one. Get me the fuck outta here!!!

Danielle: “were you in jail?”

Henry: “yes but not for very long about a year”

Danielle: “oh ok….interesting”

Henry: “interesting?”

Danielle: “yeah, not really sure what else to say”

Henry: “what does that mean?”

Danielle: “nothing let’s change the subject”

We finish our sake and spicy tuna roll and call it a night.   I had then realized that in my “interview” questions for all dating experiences I now must add have you ever been convicted of a crime? And have you done time?

Keeping it classy gentlemen keeping it real classy.

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