Last week was a week leading up to multiple holidays for all.  I am lucky that in my family we celebrate both Passover and Easter, and this year they all collided on their own.  This year I was reminiscing about where it all started in the great big world of grown up dating for me.  I guess you could say that it truly started in the cradle of civilization.  

 

About 13 years ago I was in Egypt with my family.  We were having the time of our lives.  It is still the most amazing trip and cultural experience that I have had to this day.  We were in the desert of Giza where all of the great pyramids are.  My younger brother decided that he wanted to go on a camel ride.  There were tons to choose from, so we did, and up he went.  They took him around on a little stroll and then when it came time for him to get off the camel, he was told that there was an additional charge for being let off of the camel, and then also another additional charge for the man that led the camel, and finally another charge to the man who owns the camel.  It was hilarious.  He was not getting off that camel until all was paid.  While my brother was still 8 feet up high on this massive animal the owner of the camel came over to my father and me and says “You have a very beautiful daughter.  I would like to offer you a percentage of my camel business proceeds in exchange for her to wed my son.  You can visit her here in Egypt as often as you like and you will have the proceeds monthly from my camel business and I also have a small gift shop.  Is this something that you would consider?”  My father grinned graciously at this man who was completely serious and said, “I’m sorry sir but there aren’t enough camels in all of Egypt to offer up my daughter.”  Ha! It was amazing.  Not a bad offer right?  With all of those additional charges just to get off a camel we could have been making a killing.  Who knows I could have had the magical life of my dreams!  To be honest, it’s a hell of lot easier than dating and all of the bullsh^t that we go through here just to go on a freaking date!  At least this guy knew what he wanted and went for it!

 

Ah…. then back to the land of honking taxi horns and crowded subways with people who are all angry because of the honking horns and crowded subway commutes.  But hey, we love it right?  In this land, the holidays slowed that all down for me and made me think of the men I have dated over the years who have made it to the point where they have met my family, and the few that have made it to our dinner table for a holiday dinner.  There was Jack who I dated for about a year about 6 years ago.  He joined my family and me for many dinners and one year came to our Seder for Passover.  He showed up almost an hour late but he made it.  He was a hit with my family for a good amount of time until he must have stopped taking his manic depression meds.  This one strung me along for about 8 months and then all of a sudden told me he couldn’t marry me, yup and the first time he told me this it was in the middle of a “romantic” dinner in public in a restaurant.  Yeah, it was awesome.  Then when I reacted the way I think most women would by telling him that Iwanted out of the relationship. He freaked out, said he didn’t know what he was saying and begged me not to leave him.  I of course fell for it and stayed another few months.  He then told me this again.  This time when we were at a good friend’s birthday party.  Obviously we broke it off shortly after that.  The craziest thing about these little outbursts with Jack was that when I asked him why, he said he didn’t know.  He’s newly married now, poor girl, give her strength.  

 

There was Carl who made it to my family’s dinner table a handful of times as well.  He joined us for Easter a couple of years ago.  This one was also quite troubled.  We had been dating for about 3 months and when he talked about his family he always made it seem as if both of his parents were living and residing in Kentucky.  Until one day we were having dinner at my apt and a song came on that he said reminded him of his father.  I told him “Oh, that’s so nice.   You should shoot him a txt and let him know that we heard it tonight”.  He then said to me “Well I would if I could, but he’s been dead almost 2 years now”.  Uh, what?  Maybe that’s something you could have told me?  Here I was talking with him about family as though this man was still alive.  I couldn’t help but wonder why he would keep something like that from me when we had spent so much time together, he met my family, we spent close intimate time.  He also had a habit of disappearing for days at a time with no contact at all, and wouldn’t respond to my calls or messages.  It was just bizarre.  When he would finally surface he would act as if nothing had happened, no time had passed.  Needless to say that didn’t last.  Secretive isn’t really something I look for in a mate.  It was a shame because when he had his head on straight he was great.

 

Then just last year I had met someone at the gym. Definitely an interesting cat.   We can call him Brock.  We exchanged info at the gym and started to txt a bit and get the basics down about each other on a friendship level to start.  He then asked me if I was single and I told him yes, then asked him if he was.  He told me yes but that he had been seeing someone.  He specified that he wasn’t in a relationship.  I was a bit confused by that but when he asked me out for a drink I accepted.  We of course hit it off and wanted to see more of each other.  We continued to see each other for a couple of weeks.  It was around Passover of last year.  I remember him picking me up after my family’sSeder to drive me home on his way back from his and he revealed that he may not have been completely honest with me about the extent of his relationship with this woman that he had been seeing.  He then told me that he was going to have to make a choice because he didn’t want to hurt either one of us.  What an asshole!  The hurting was already done buddy.  He chose to continue seeing this other woman and asked that we stay friends.  Whatever, friends?  Pretty much the extent of that friendship was a facebook one.  The funny thing about that is, about 7 months later I threw a holiday party and I invited all of my friends that I am connected with on FB.  Guess who shows up?  Brock of course.  He then has the nerve to flirt with me at the party and tell me that he’s truly single now and let’s give it another shot.  I of course knew better then to fully believe this but I figured what the heck and made plans to see him that following week.  Low and behold in comes the text message from him the day before our plans that he just isn’t in a place to start seeing me and doesn’t want to hurt me again.  Blah BlahBlah….saying nonsense like he doesn’t know what is wrong with him and he can’t explain why.  I bump into him at the gym one year to the date of when we met and of course we say hello and catch up a bit.  When I asked him what he did for Passover this year he said “Well I have a girlfriend now and I was with her and her family”.  Love it!  Another one to wish good luck.  She better make sure that he isn’t telling other girls that he isn’t in a relationship.  Unreal!

 

While it’s entertaining to think about the past sometimes and the crazies that I’ve dealt with over the years that I have been kind enough to invite to my family’s home, or give a second chance to; it also makes me think about how nice it would be to have a nice solid person sitting next to me at these holiday dinners.  I would so much prefer that to being asked by friends and family “So are you seeing anyone?.”  I look at my brother and his wife and how happy they are sitting across the table from me, and I wish that I could have that too.  To have a counterpart.  Another Passover means another year without that.  So to be honest there’s a part of me that hates the holidays.  It’s just another reminder that time is fleeting.

 

This year at my family’s Seder I sang “Let My People Go” while we read our funny version of a home made haggadah.  I remembered that I originally heard that song in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off when Cameron is singing it from his bed while home sick from school.  The days when time wasn’t fleeting.  I feel myself always in a rush these days on many aspects in my life and I know that sometimes I’ve just got to slow down and not think it all over so hard.  Perhaps it will just come.  Perhaps my Prince Charming will show up when I least expect it.  Like people say, “When you’re not looking”.

 

So in the famous words of Ferris Bueller:  

 

“Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

 

 

  

 

 

 

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