Don’t you just love those nights when you get home from a first date at 9:30 on a Tuesday absolutely starving? I know I do.

You meet at 7:30pm, he’s cute, you’re pleasantly surprised, it seems as if he is too, and then he proceeds to talk his face off about what amounts to bullshit for a full two hours (at the time you think things are going great). Two large glasses of wine and hours later, you’re having a nice enough time, you’re a tiny bit buzzed, AND FUCKING STARVING, and that’s when this guy is asking for the check! Really? If you want the pleasure of my company and time for two hours then you can at least ask me if I’m hungry! Cuz guess what, at 9:30 at night when I came straight from work I AM!

This one….we’ll call him Elvis.

Match.com

43

Divorced

Two daughters (these ones were little)

Super Good Looking

I show up at a little wine bar in my neighborhood, which happened to be his as well, always a plus. I’m so pleasantly surprised with how incredibly good looking this guy was because it could have gone either way from his pictures. He was in a suit (thank God). No holster wallet in sight. He orders us a couple glasses of wine and the conversation starts. He’s all about me for quite a while. It looked like he wanted to get as much info as possible before we got to him. Well at least that’s what I thought until we actually got to him. Turns out he’s been divorced about a year and just moved back into the city after trying out the burbs with the ex and the kids. He was so happy to be back and seemed like a happy person overall. That was until he really got into the details, which he felt comfortable getting into right away. Unreal, I dated someone for three months and couldn’t get a minor detail unless he was three sheets to the wind, and this guy on a first date was telling me that it would be ideal if his ex wife would just marry some filthy rich old dude. So that became the focus of the conversation along with some talk of TV shows that we were both into. Believe me I really would have liked to stay with the television shows to be honest. While I appreciate your openness about your past I don’t need to hear all of it on the first date. Especially when I’m famished and we could be discussing the menu instead. Anything would have been better than knowing that the ex lives 5 blocks away and doesn’t work for a living. You can imagine how I felt when I looked at the time and saw that two hours had passed after listening to this, and now he’s asking for the bill. Hey at least he asked for the bill with the intention of paying it and followed through. So that was Elvis, the flavor of this week.

I also had to block someone from match this week. That was fun. He had up on his profile New York, New York under location. Silly me to think that, that actually meant New York City. I tend to forget that almost everyone on these sites lies about something, and it’s usually location or age.   This guy told me that he works in the city and lives in Bay Ridge Brooklyn. News flash! That’s not New York, New York. That’s Brooklyn, New York, and after Road Rage Rob I’m sorry to say that I’m not venturing out to the burbs again. While Bay Ridge is quite lovely, it’s just not for me, and having known that I wouldn’t have wasted either of our time with a response to his initial contact.  When I told him that I preferred not to date someone that far away from me he started sending very rude emails every hour, completely going off on me. Apparently I was a snob bitch that didn’t know what I was missing. Thanks buddy I’m ok with that. Everyone has the right to preferences and if I’m a Manhattan snob so be it. That’s where I live and I didn’t LIE about it!

I also took a risk and went out on a Friday Night first date. Those only happen when I have absolutely nothing else going on and I have a strangely good feeling about someone.

It was a great date in every way. Tons of fun, and I left the night feeling excited about seeing this person again. He txt me a bit the next day to share that he was hung over and asked if I was, which I wasn’t thankfully. The blessings of an Eastern European tolerance. This was followed by no plans for a second date. So long story short I still await a MAN. A man who doesn’t dilly dally and follows through with the next step. I’m done counting the days to see how long it will take for him to ask to see me. Gotta just keep pluggin away folks. He’s out there, we just haven’t found each other yet…….right?

More Drama To Come! You’re comments are welcome! I love to hear them!

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