Oh my fabulous friends. I know you’ve been wondering where I’ve been. Well have I got stories for you!

 

I guess you can say it was the spirit of the Holidays that brought me back to my laptop, eager to share what I’ve been through. Now where should I start? Needless to say I have tried my best to stay optimistic about dating in NYC, and needless to say my optimism has been challenged on a daily basis.

 

It comes back to one of our favorites, Bumble. Oh Bumble. All of those busy bees are still buzzing alright and one buzzed up the wrong flower with me…..

 

We’ll call him Tim.

 

Tim was a native New Yorker, raised in Queens, lived in Astoria and worked in finance in Manhattan. 42 years old, dark hair, tall, boasted of being active and taking care of himself, blah blah blah. The usual. We txt back and forth for a bit after we matched and spontaneously made plans to meet for a drink the same night we had been talking. I liked that. A man of action, instead of hiding behind mindless chit chat, that will only get me a new pen pal, and we all know I don’t want or need one of those. It was a weeknight so we met after work at one of my locals. He was well dressed, handsome, and very outgoing. We were actually having a really great time. I’ll spare you the details of what was a really great first date, and just say that on that first date we made plans to se each other again that weekend. Tim loved to be out and do fun things, so it was really nice to have someone else making the plans for once. All I had to do was show up. The second date was even better than the first. Third date, fourth date, fifth. We were having a great time. Tim told me he didn’t want to see anyone else quite early on, and I was in for it as well. I liked that there weren’t any games. It felt easy. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? Well we started making some travel plans together which at first I wasn’t sure if it was too soon, but hey, I’m an adult, he’s an adult, screw it right let’s give this a shot. We went to Chicago for a weekend and it was great. The next trip was Memphis, another great trip. Well except for a couple of very strange outbursts and manic mood swings that Tim had. I had never really noticed it before, but if he wasn’t running the show and getting his way, which included me having a smile on my face 24/7, he was not a happy camper. I over looked it in Memphis and he seemed to be ok for a few weeks, so of course I thought everything was just peachy. (Silly Girl) We had a trip planned for Memorial Day Weekend to the Caribbean. I was so excited. All I wanted was a sandy beach and a cocktail in hand. We get to our hotel and it’s beautiful. Everything is perfect. Of course.

 

On our second day, we’re on the beach and I notice that he’s pounding drinks like their going out of style and getting obviously drunk. It’s about 2 in the afternoon and he tells me he’s going to the bathroom, and ends up being gone for almost an hour. When he gets back he tells me that he booked us on some excursion to an action park that has some kind of tubing slide, hang gliding and a flying Dutchman. Who know what the hell that is. Now I have a great fear of any type of rides that are high up in the air, and could possibly put me in danger. I’m 42 years old, not 12. Now I didn’t want to upset him especially in his drunken moment of thinking that he just booked something that I would have interest in and set him off in any way, so I went along with it and figured when we got there in the morning I would just let him go on these “rides” without me. We get up the next morning and head to this park. It was a total shit show. They make you sign all of these papers that pretty much say if you get hurt on the premises they are not responsible. Uh red flag much? I knew at that moment I was definitely not going on any of these things. We then have to walk up a little hill to a chair lift that brings you up a mountain to the tubing area. As we are being lifted up this small mountain, I see people coming down in the tubes that are going down a concrete slide so to speak. Every single person looks absolutely terrified. I’m out. We get off of the chair lift and get in line to go on the tubes. Tim can see that I’m very nervous and asks me if I’m ok. I then tell him that he should go on his own and that I’m too afraid to go. He was fine with that and down he goes. He comes back up and I’m relieved that he made it off of the tube in one piece. I think great we can move on to the next thing and I’ll just meet him when he’s done. He looks at me and says I wanna go down again. Seriously?!?! So I say ok no problem to be accommodating of course. Down he goes. 30 seconds later I hear all of the staff screaming on their walky talky’s saying “He fell off da tube, he fell off da tube!”. I immediately knew it had to be Tim. Before I know it they have put the line at a stop and the staff is escorting me down this massive hill to their infirmary where Tim is getting patched up. He scraped all the skin off of his entire right side, and cut his ankle pretty badly. When I walked into the room I didn’t even know what to say to him. I tried to keep it to thank God you’re ok, but of course I had to tie in “I really wish you hadn’t gone down a second time, this shit is dangerous”. He knew he had acted like an idiot but of course would never admit it. I then ask the nurse what we need to do to care for the cuts, and he screams at me that he’s fine and that I don’t have to ask her anything. It was nuts. We then of course decide to go back to the hotel and one the way out he wants to stop at their bar for a drink! Mind you it’s 10am and I just wanted to get back to the hotel and put the whole debacle behind us. This of course starts a fight and we pretty much didn’t speak the rest of the day. The rest of the trip I was trying my best to help take care of his cuts and bruises and he just wasn’t having it. He just drank way too much and was irritable. All over a silly mistake that got him really badly hurt. Fast forward and we head back to NYC. There was definitely some tension between us but nothing that I thought we wouldn’t get over once he was feeling better. We got back to my place and normally we would just get to bed and head to work the next morning, but instead he went back to queens that night with some weird excuse, so I knew something had to be up. The next four days he was almost MIA, and this was a person that was always in touch with me throughout the day. He canceled plans one night that week and then he disappeared. When he finally surfaced a couple of days later he told me that he couldn’t see me anymore because of the way that I handled him getting hurt when we were on vacation. That was it, no conversation no nothing. This man had taken me away with him, we were practically inseparable, and in a blink of an eye it was done, and I’ll never really know why.

So you may ask what the moral of my story is? Maybe don’t jump into anything too quickly? Maybe keep your eyes open a little wider for signs of cray cray? Who knows folks, cuz it didn’t

get any better after Tim, believe me. The next guy I dated seemed too good to be true until he told me a month in that he had only broken up with is ex girlfriend of a year two weeks before we met and that she was pregnant with his child. Yes, you can’t make this shit up!

To be continued……

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