Well hello!  Yes, I know it’s been quite some time since I’ve shared.  Needless to say 2020 hasn’t been very motivating for many reasons, but today a little birdie told me I should blog again.

Its quite the shit show out there, and brining myself to get out there and go on dates again was scary to say the least.  How do you do it?  How do you know that someone you start talking to on one of the beloved swiping apps is healthy?  And when I say healthy, it now means, not carrying a deadly disease that can be highly contagious from just being in one another’s presence.  I mean damn, if it wasn’t hard enough before.  

I decided to start swiping again a few months ago.  I figured New York’s numbers were down and if I was very open and honest about my COVID fears with anyone I connected with I could possibly make going on a date work.  I mean what do you do?  Require people to get tested before you meet?  Take their temperature upon arrival?  I was actually 100% prepared to do that.  Then you have to think about what you will actually do on the date.  The days of meeting at bars for a drink are gone and who knows when they’ll be back.  Do you go on a socially distanced stroll?  Sit 6 feet apart on a bench?  This all sounded horrible to me, but this is what people are doing.  I always try to stay open to new things so here we go…..right?  

Though I had been swiping, I just wasn’t connecting with anyone that kept up conversation for very long.  People wanted immediate meet ups or nothing at all, which I thought was nuts at a time like this.  The couple of dates that I decided to go on happened to be with someone that I had dated very briefly a couple of years ago.  He reached out to me on Facebook with a random friend request which should have been telling from the get go.  I mean buddy, you have my number, but you’re trying to get my attention with a Facebook friend request?  Ok I’ll give you a little history here.  We’ll call him Preston.  Preston and I met a couple of years ago on Bumble and saw each other for maybe 3 months.  Preston is a restaurant owner, and owns places here in New York and all over the globe, so yeah, he’s a busy guy.  Divorced a long time now and has one teenage daughter.  We only got together when it was convenient for him, only on weeknights mostly, and usually the same nights of the week.  We very rarely went anywhere except his restaurant, but at the same time, he was always whispering sweet nothings in my ear to keep me around, which I of course fell for.  The ultimate cause of us parting ways was that he “couldn’t give me what I wanted at that time”.  Ok cool.  I get it, you’re busy with your restaurants, and when you’re not busy with that, you’re busy with your daughter.  Eh maybe you shouldn’t have lead me on to believe other wise and then rip the rug out from underneath me out of nowhere, but I’m sure you really are a great guy.  Now we’ll come back to 2020 and Preston’s Facebook friend request.  I pondered over this “creative” way of feeling out the waters of making contact with me.  Now you have to remember, it’s July 2020.  I’ve had no human contact with anyone except my family at this point.  Working from home, and feeling isolated, lonely and at times quite depressed.  Times are rough.  Therefore in my fragile, bored and lonely state, yes, I used poor judgement.  Shocker right?!?!  I went ahead and txt Preston.

Danielle:  “Hey there.  What’s up with the Facebook friend request?”

Preston:  Texts me back within minutes. “Who’s this?”  “Just kidding!  Hi how are you”

Danielle:  “Doing as good as can be expected in this mess we’re in, you?”

Preston:  Better now that I have been able to open the restaurant.  It’s been awful.  Not sure if my business was going to survive this”

Danielle:  “Glad to hear that you were able to reopen.  So about that friend request, why didn’t you just txt me?

Preston:  “Well I saw you come in my people you should connect with and was really happy that it was you.  I’ve been thinking about you.”

Danielle:  “Ah ok, well here I am…”

Preston:  “Would you feel comfortable getting together for dinner?  I had COVID a couple of months ago so I have the antibodies, would be great to catch up.”

Danielle:  Here I go folks making a poorly judged call in a moment of weakness.  “Sure that would be nice.”

Preston:  “How about tomorrow night?”

Danielle:  “Sounds good.”

Preston:  “Great, let’s say 8, I’ll txt you tomorrow.”

I meet Preston at a restaurant with outdoor dining the next evening.  I was a little nervous, to see him again and to be out with anyone besides family, even though I knew he was technically safe to be around.  What I should have remembered is that Preston is hazardous to my health.  It started all over again.  He’d contact me once a week like clockwork on Tuesdays and invite me to have dinner with him at the restaurant.  We never went anywhere else.  He’d also be working when we were there, so he wouldn’t be able to give me quality time until quite late when the restaurant was getting ready to shut down for the night.  I tried to play it cool, never asked anything from him because I told myself, be happy for the company at a time like this right?  I’d ask him if he was free on weekends to get together and do something outside of his restaurant, but he would always tell me that he was heading out of town to be with family and then sometimes see his daughter.  I never really knew if it was true or not but went with it.  Just kept telling myself, I’m getting out of the apt, I get to get dressed up, put on makeup and feel human again.  That didn’t really work for me much past August, so when one of his Tuesday txts came in “Hey”, I said “Hey, how are you?”.  The reply I got was “I’m doing ok”.  That was it, no asking me how I was, so I just didn’t say anything else.  A whole week went by with no contact and then the next week, but on a Monday this time, scandalous!  “No love for me?” he says.  I sent no reply.  No Preston, no love for you my dear.  I have more love for myself than to be miss Tuesday night at your restaurant.  

It may have taken me two times to learn the lesson, and in the time of COVID non the less.  PEOPLE DON’T CHANGE.

Though I am happy that I got out and came back to life on those Tuesday nights.  Now on to the real deal (fingers crossed!)