I was recently in LA visiting my best friend who left the east coast for a lovely life in the sun. She and her husband have a lovely home by the water that I was lucky enough to stay in. It’s always a great time when I go to see my friend and I must say her husband is a joy as well. Every time I come to visit he asks me “so Danielle, how’s the dating scene going in New York?” Well? I told him the latest and greatest and he is always amazed at the level of craziness that I deal with on a constant basis. He is also fascinated with all of the new dating apps that have arisen since he and my BFF tied the knot. It’s a lot of fun to show them to him and he gets a real kick out of them too.

One night we’re at their house making dinner and hanging out and he says “bring up the Tinder Danielle”. Alright here we go! We’re swiping through the options and as we do this I notice that East coast or West it’s really the same shit. Dudes in sunglasses in every pic, so you can’t see what they really look like. Guys with their dogs, hanging with the boys. All looking for “her”. It’s a struggle for many of my single friends. I got to see a few of them all together when we went out one night in Hollywood. They are all on the same apps looking for love in all the wrong places because they don’t know what else to do. It’s a cyber world we live in now, where no one talks anymore. They click, and swipe and txt.

My girlfriend and I went out one night down in Long Beach. It’s a beautiful town. Way past the days of snoop dog dropping it like it’s hot. Now a town of young professionals by day and flip flop wearing surfer dudes by night. We went into a great dive bar that was very well known and popular to the locals. It had a great vibe. We’re at the bar having a drink, and taking in the atmosphere. When I’m in LA I’m in a constant state of people watching amazement. The characters are phenomenal, and hey I’m from New York so I’m no stranger to characters. This one guys comes up to us and asks to buy us a round of drinks. He’s quite good looking and seems like a nice guy as we begin to chat. As the conversation persists he is all of a sudden telling us his life story of a deadbeat Mom and how at one point he was homeless on the streets of LA. Now a successful attorney dripping with the $$. Both my friend and I are thankful for the round of drinks but now dying to get the fu%k outta there. On top of that, at one point I looked down at his feet to discover that he was wearing flip flops. Flip flops in a bar? I mean I get Long Beach, a beach, flip flops. But seriously?   That just wasn’t for me. That was it for that place. That was really the extent of my exploration into the LA single men scene. I was having such a great time with my friend that nothing else interested me.

As I was there, the bells and chimes were still going off on my phone for Hinge, Happn and E Harmony. It never ends. There are actually two prospects on EH at the moment. I made it through the lengthy process of organized questions that go back and forth for many rounds, and made it to EH Email! Whahoo! Both men reached out via email and asked for my phone number so that we could be in contact off of the site which I liked. Given now they are both just texting me instead of calling me to speak. I’m sorry, but I vowed that I will not go on another online date without speaking to the person over the phone first, and I’m going to stick to it. I have of course told both of these men that I would like to speak and I now am waiting to see if they follow through with a call. With one of them it was like scheduling an appointment with the Pope. For crying out loud fellas I just want to chat for a few minutes, 10 tops to make sure that we have that flow in conversation before I doll myself up to be disappointed yet once again. This gal is not big on wasting lipstick as we all know, so to be continued.

I’d love to share my last date experience with you as well. Now this guy I met when I was out and about on a Friday night. I was at one of my favorite local spots on the UES having drinks and dinner at the bar. I’m catching up with the bar tender and some of the staff as I hadn’t been there in quite a long time. I turn around to look around the room and see if there was anyone of interest to me and I saw a man having dinner with another man at the table right behind me. We mad eye contact and he smiled. I smiled back and then turned around to go back to my conversation with the bar tender. A few minutes later the bartender notifies me that the gentleman at the table behind me would like to buy me a drink. I accept and acknowledge him with thanks. He then invites me over to his table to join him. I sit down and we start to get aquainted. He’s Israeli and lives somewhere out in the boonies of Queens. When I asked him what he did for a living he said that he is in sales for industrial garage doors and also ventures in real estate. He seemed nice enough and was quite funny. I didn’t stay much longer, but we exchanged contact info and off I went.

He contacted me the next day and asked if he could take me to dinner later that week. I told him sure and we planned for Friday night. I heard from him Thursday night to confirm and when I asked him what the plan was he said I’ll figure it out and txt you tomorrow. Tomorrow came and I was about to be done at work. Hadn’t heard from him so I txt him to find out what he had planned. When he replied he started with the “you’re on the UES right?

Danielle: yes

Yuval: ok so why don’t we go somewhere in that neighborhood to eat?

Danielle: ok sure, do you have a place in mind?

Yuval: do you have a favorite place?

Danielle: I know of a couple yes. I can pick one if you’d like.

Yuval: or we can go downtown if you want too? May be better places.

Danielle: that can work as well. Did you have a place that you like downtown?

Yuval: I can find something. Why don’t I pick you up in the van on my way and we can head down together?

Danielle: sure that sounds good

Yuval: ok I’ll txt you when I’m getting close.

We picked a time and he had told me he’d have a place, so I got ready and was out the door to meet him in in the cab. I’m waiting…..waiting…….waiting…….10 minutes later from when he told me he was just a few blocks away here he is walking up to me. Not in a cab. I asked him where the cab was and he said “I got out, because we’re having dinner up here and I figured we could walk?”

Danielle: uh no…I thought we agreed on going downtown?

Yuval: downtown is too far let’s go to a place up here.

Danielle: uh ok, but that’s not what we agreed on.

Yuval: do you know a place close by?

Danielle: well the ones that are the good ones are about 10 blocks down. We can start walking.

Yuval: oh ok, you don’t know anything closer?

Danielle no my favorites are further down. I also didn’t pick anything because you told me you had a place downtown in mind.

He shrugs his shoulders and plays up the accent and language barrier big time at this point telling me that he didn’t understand. Ok whatever buddy. We walk to a restaurant and give our name because it’s a Friday night and we have no reservation and its prime time for dinner. He orders his drinks at the bar and is then standing right in the walk way for all of the servers and people going in and out of the restaurant. I keep trying to get him to move out of the way and he’s just completely oblivious. I then move myself further and further away from the walk way and he slowly moves towards me. On top of that, when he goes to get the bill for the drinks and pay for it he reaches right between a couple that is sitting at the bar when he could have reached behind them. When he goes to do it a third time I literally had to grab his arm and tell him not too. It was a little embarrassing. We finally get to a table. He’s talking, talking, talking and at that point I’m not really interested. His table manners are atrocious as well and he was drinking a ton. The conversation consisted of him telling me how he ended up in the boonies of Queens because I had asked him why he chose to live there earlier in the evening. He told me that when he first got to New York he was partying and doing drugs all of the time and he could no longer handle the temptations that the city held. Um ok, time for me to go! I’ve heard this story before and it’s OLD. The last thing I want to get mixed up with is an ex druggy with bad table manners, and obviously an addictive personality. I’m good thanks. I get through the rest of the meal and I was really hoping that I could just go home but he offered to walk me home and I didn’t want to be rude. As we walked he wanted to stop in a bar for a drink and I told him I wasn’t up for it. He was disappointed but continued to walk me home. When we got to my building he immediately went in for a kiss quite aggressively and I shoved him off. Quite surprised he looked at me and said “ok Danielle it was nice meeting you”. Yup, no thanks. I’m meeting the winner’s folks! The search continues…keeping the dream alive!

All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. All names used are fictitious.

The owner of dsdatingdramas.com will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

Just when you think you’ve tried them all there’s still another claim to fame match making website ready to find you your Mr. Right. I would like to talk about my latest online addition to the game. E Harmony it is.

Now this one is a real joke. They match you randomly accordingly to what they gather from a profile that you set up and about a thousand ridiculous questions that they have you answer.

Once you are matched up you can only view the profiles of the men that you have been matched with. There is no browsing of any type. If you happen to have interest in anyone that you have been “matched ” with you can send him or her a set of questions that you select personally from a long list that the site provides. You are also given the option to skip to what they call EH Mail. Oooooh how daring of you! Haha. Almost no one on the site wants to email, they are all about the questions, and once you answer the first set of five questions they send you another set. This goes on and on for about three sets of questions. This gives these men the perfect wall to hide behind. They don’t have to talk to you, they can delay the process as long as they like. It goes on for days, weeks, even months, because at times you don’t get a response/set of new stupid questions to answer right away. People don’t reply for days to weeks.

The first time I actually made it through the questions I couldn’t believe it. It was exhausting, and the funniest thing is that when you get through the questions you “graduate” to being able to email with that person. Hilarious! Especially because then, you don’t hear from them! There are no more questions to hide behind. And these questions mind you, of course are being answered with what they think you want to hear, with what will supposedly make them a catch right? It feels like a compete waste of time throughout the entire process. I have been on the site for a month now and have not gone on one date. I get tons of matches and questions sent to me daily, but who the hell wants to go through that over and over and over? Let’s email, then let’s chat and then let’s meet and see if there’s anything worth our while. Seems simple right? Of course it’s not! Why can’t we just do it? We are consistently provided with outlets to avoid the real deal. It’s amazing.

So that has definitely been a new and pointless experience for me. Oh and it’s not cheap either. These sites are getting a pretty penny for subscription. The funny thing is that I must have gone on and off of the site a few times while setting up my profile, and answering miles of questions so often without signing up that they threw me an email with a special price. 3 months at the bargain price of $12.95 a month. Ooh…I feel special! Well it gets a big thumbs down from me and believe me I’m an expert!

On top of my lovely E Harmony experience. I was contacted just this week by match making service that I had worked with a couple of years ago. It’s a service for men that consider themselves too busy to search for a mate on their own. So they pay a boat load of money to have women hand picked for them and dates set up with them. The women pay nothing but go through an interview process so they can be presented to these male clients with plenty of information to help them make their decision on whether or not they would like to meet you. The men see your picture and get your background info provided by a representative of the service but the women only get age, height and where they live. Now when I did this years ago that was ok with me, I figured why not, it’s just one date and if they aren’t attractive to me no big deal and move on. Now? Uh no thanks! I say no thanks not only because I’m really not big on wasting time and that is just way too blind for me, but because in my past experience not one of the men that I met through this service were of my physical type in any way, shape, or form. My txt conversation with the rep that contacted me started out as a refresher as I hadn’t been in contact with them for so long. When she started telling me about the potential matches that she had for me they were out of my age range and I told her that. She then started pushing it, telling me that I should give it a try, you never know. Instead of explaining to her my reasoning in a long drawn out txt message I simply told her where I cap it off and then asked what she could tell me about these men. One lived in Boston but is here on business often, uh no. The other lived in Philly but was in New York often, uh no! What the heck is this? Why are you looking to meet a woman that lives in New York if you don’t? I asked her if they had plans to move to New York and if that was why they were working with her and she said no. At that point I was really getting turned off and started to realize that this obviously wasn’t for me. Being set up is bad enough when it’s by a family member or a friend. This screamed disaster.

Summing it up, my two latest additions to the game were a bust. I’ve had a couple of dates from the apps that I just can’t seem to delete from my phone as well. Good dates, so we shall see! You know you’ll hear all about it 😉

So we’re still plugging away folks. Having fun just thinking about all of the amazing possibilities that await!

Continue to Log On for more Drama!

All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. All names used are fictitious.

The owner of dsdatingdramas.com will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

Last week was a week leading up to multiple holidays for all.  I am lucky that in my family we celebrate both Passover and Easter, and this year they all collided on their own.  This year I was reminiscing about where it all started in the great big world of grown up dating for me.  I guess you could say that it truly started in the cradle of civilization.  

 

About 13 years ago I was in Egypt with my family.  We were having the time of our lives.  It is still the most amazing trip and cultural experience that I have had to this day.  We were in the desert of Giza where all of the great pyramids are.  My younger brother decided that he wanted to go on a camel ride.  There were tons to choose from, so we did, and up he went.  They took him around on a little stroll and then when it came time for him to get off the camel, he was told that there was an additional charge for being let off of the camel, and then also another additional charge for the man that led the camel, and finally another charge to the man who owns the camel.  It was hilarious.  He was not getting off that camel until all was paid.  While my brother was still 8 feet up high on this massive animal the owner of the camel came over to my father and me and says “You have a very beautiful daughter.  I would like to offer you a percentage of my camel business proceeds in exchange for her to wed my son.  You can visit her here in Egypt as often as you like and you will have the proceeds monthly from my camel business and I also have a small gift shop.  Is this something that you would consider?”  My father grinned graciously at this man who was completely serious and said, “I’m sorry sir but there aren’t enough camels in all of Egypt to offer up my daughter.”  Ha! It was amazing.  Not a bad offer right?  With all of those additional charges just to get off a camel we could have been making a killing.  Who knows I could have had the magical life of my dreams!  To be honest, it’s a hell of lot easier than dating and all of the bullsh^t that we go through here just to go on a freaking date!  At least this guy knew what he wanted and went for it!

 

Ah…. then back to the land of honking taxi horns and crowded subways with people who are all angry because of the honking horns and crowded subway commutes.  But hey, we love it right?  In this land, the holidays slowed that all down for me and made me think of the men I have dated over the years who have made it to the point where they have met my family, and the few that have made it to our dinner table for a holiday dinner.  There was Jack who I dated for about a year about 6 years ago.  He joined my family and me for many dinners and one year came to our Seder for Passover.  He showed up almost an hour late but he made it.  He was a hit with my family for a good amount of time until he must have stopped taking his manic depression meds.  This one strung me along for about 8 months and then all of a sudden told me he couldn’t marry me, yup and the first time he told me this it was in the middle of a “romantic” dinner in public in a restaurant.  Yeah, it was awesome.  Then when I reacted the way I think most women would by telling him that Iwanted out of the relationship. He freaked out, said he didn’t know what he was saying and begged me not to leave him.  I of course fell for it and stayed another few months.  He then told me this again.  This time when we were at a good friend’s birthday party.  Obviously we broke it off shortly after that.  The craziest thing about these little outbursts with Jack was that when I asked him why, he said he didn’t know.  He’s newly married now, poor girl, give her strength.  

 

There was Carl who made it to my family’s dinner table a handful of times as well.  He joined us for Easter a couple of years ago.  This one was also quite troubled.  We had been dating for about 3 months and when he talked about his family he always made it seem as if both of his parents were living and residing in Kentucky.  Until one day we were having dinner at my apt and a song came on that he said reminded him of his father.  I told him “Oh, that’s so nice.   You should shoot him a txt and let him know that we heard it tonight”.  He then said to me “Well I would if I could, but he’s been dead almost 2 years now”.  Uh, what?  Maybe that’s something you could have told me?  Here I was talking with him about family as though this man was still alive.  I couldn’t help but wonder why he would keep something like that from me when we had spent so much time together, he met my family, we spent close intimate time.  He also had a habit of disappearing for days at a time with no contact at all, and wouldn’t respond to my calls or messages.  It was just bizarre.  When he would finally surface he would act as if nothing had happened, no time had passed.  Needless to say that didn’t last.  Secretive isn’t really something I look for in a mate.  It was a shame because when he had his head on straight he was great.

 

Then just last year I had met someone at the gym. Definitely an interesting cat.   We can call him Brock.  We exchanged info at the gym and started to txt a bit and get the basics down about each other on a friendship level to start.  He then asked me if I was single and I told him yes, then asked him if he was.  He told me yes but that he had been seeing someone.  He specified that he wasn’t in a relationship.  I was a bit confused by that but when he asked me out for a drink I accepted.  We of course hit it off and wanted to see more of each other.  We continued to see each other for a couple of weeks.  It was around Passover of last year.  I remember him picking me up after my family’sSeder to drive me home on his way back from his and he revealed that he may not have been completely honest with me about the extent of his relationship with this woman that he had been seeing.  He then told me that he was going to have to make a choice because he didn’t want to hurt either one of us.  What an asshole!  The hurting was already done buddy.  He chose to continue seeing this other woman and asked that we stay friends.  Whatever, friends?  Pretty much the extent of that friendship was a facebook one.  The funny thing about that is, about 7 months later I threw a holiday party and I invited all of my friends that I am connected with on FB.  Guess who shows up?  Brock of course.  He then has the nerve to flirt with me at the party and tell me that he’s truly single now and let’s give it another shot.  I of course knew better then to fully believe this but I figured what the heck and made plans to see him that following week.  Low and behold in comes the text message from him the day before our plans that he just isn’t in a place to start seeing me and doesn’t want to hurt me again.  Blah BlahBlah….saying nonsense like he doesn’t know what is wrong with him and he can’t explain why.  I bump into him at the gym one year to the date of when we met and of course we say hello and catch up a bit.  When I asked him what he did for Passover this year he said “Well I have a girlfriend now and I was with her and her family”.  Love it!  Another one to wish good luck.  She better make sure that he isn’t telling other girls that he isn’t in a relationship.  Unreal!

 

While it’s entertaining to think about the past sometimes and the crazies that I’ve dealt with over the years that I have been kind enough to invite to my family’s home, or give a second chance to; it also makes me think about how nice it would be to have a nice solid person sitting next to me at these holiday dinners.  I would so much prefer that to being asked by friends and family “So are you seeing anyone?.”  I look at my brother and his wife and how happy they are sitting across the table from me, and I wish that I could have that too.  To have a counterpart.  Another Passover means another year without that.  So to be honest there’s a part of me that hates the holidays.  It’s just another reminder that time is fleeting.

 

This year at my family’s Seder I sang “Let My People Go” while we read our funny version of a home made haggadah.  I remembered that I originally heard that song in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off when Cameron is singing it from his bed while home sick from school.  The days when time wasn’t fleeting.  I feel myself always in a rush these days on many aspects in my life and I know that sometimes I’ve just got to slow down and not think it all over so hard.  Perhaps it will just come.  Perhaps my Prince Charming will show up when I least expect it.  Like people say, “When you’re not looking”.

 

So in the famous words of Ferris Bueller:  

 

“Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

 

 

  

 

 

 

More to come folks!  Follow me for updates of all new posts!

 

 

 

 

 

All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site.  All names used are fictitious.  

 

The owner of dsdatingdramas.com will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

 

 

 

 

 

See you next week!  

I’ve been using all different types of dating resources for years now.  It started with the dating websites, ya know the originals; Jdate, Match and Eharmony.  Then some free ones came out Ok Cupid and Plenty of Fish aka POF.  You move onto the free ones because you realize that it’s the same bullsh$t on all of them including the same people so why should you be paying for it?  Next came the smart phone apps.  Tinder was ground breaking with its swipe to the left for a hook up.  Soon after came Hinge which connected you through third party connections on Facebook, Happn that connects you with people that you have supposedly crossed paths with within their GPS system which may or may not be accurate.  On any one of these tools to find your mate people come and people go.  A lot of the time you chat via txt message or email and never even meet, like I’ve mentioned before the disappearing act is quite common.  Then there are these rare occurrences that come into play.  There are the ones that pop up out of the wood works after months, sometimes even years.  The returned.

Just this past Monday I get two messages on Tinder.  Both just happened to be people that I had connected with a year ago.  First one is Frederico.  I get a random txt on Tinder from him.

Frederico:  hello beautiful Danielle!  Not sure if you remember me but I wanted to say hello before I take myself off of this app.

I open the message and honestly I’m like who the hell is this guy?  I back track through the older messages that are above it and they date back to May of last year.  Really dude?  What does this guy want?  I research a little further all the way to the beginning of our txt trail and see that after the basic back and forth he asks if I would like to meet for a drink sometime and I say sure and give him my number.  I obviously never heard from him if I didn’t remember him.

Danielle:  hi, I just looked back at our messages and we connected almost a year ago.

Frederico:  yes I know, but I never forgot about you.

Danielle:  well I see that I gave you my number and I don’t recall ever hearing from you or we would have met no?

Frederico: ah Danielle it was actually you that never responded when I txt you.

Danielle:  really that’s strange.  Here’s my number again so we can continue this conversation off of the app.

A txt comes through to my phone from him and he’s not programmed in my phone.  Obviously he never contacted me or he would have been.  I continue to entertain this guy with conversation:

Frederico:  well Danielle why don’t we give this another try, I remember everything about you and or conversation a year ago.  I think you live in the same neighborhood as me, so let’s meet for a drink?

Duh you idiot, you can read our convo from a year ago in Tinder just like I did and al of the information I gave you about myself is still there.  Sneaky, sneaky.  These guys must think we are so dumb.

Danielle:  oh yeah? So you have a good memory?  That’s nice.  Sure we can meet for a drink.

Frederico:  I’m traveling this coming weeks end into the weekend so how about tonight?

Danielle: I could make tonight work.  I could meet you at 9 after my class at the gym.

Frederico: ok that works.

Danielle: do you have a place in mind?

Frederico:  I would love to take you to the rainbow room and show off my Fred Astaire moves but unfortunately it closed tonight.

Danielle: lol

I wait the rest of the day for a place that we are meeting from him and I hear nothing.  I go to the gym and when I get out still no word from him, so I head home.  At 8:30 I hear from him with a txt.

Frederico:  hello beautiful….so are we going to wait another year?

Danielle: well we don’t have to wait another year but it’s not happening tonight.  I’m already home.

Frederico:  wait, why?  I told you that 9pm worked.

Danielle:  you never gave me a place that we were meeting at.  I would have gotten ready at the gym and met you from there.

Frederico:  oh come on we live close let’s meet for one glass of wine.

Danielle: sorry I’m already making myself some dinner.  Would have worked out if you have made a plan.

Frederico:  oh Danielle you can do it.

Danielle: sorry no I can’t, by the time I shower and get ready it will be late and I have work early in the morning.  Perhaps another time.

Frederico: ok, next time I will plan better.

We tried to make plans for the next night but I got tied up and it didn’t work out.  We said we would try again and in the mean time he send me quotes from songs and its quite cheesy to be honest.  Just out of curiosity I went on to Tinder to see if he had really taken himself off of the app and of course he hadn’t.  He had actually been active within the past 20 minutes of me checking.  Shocker.  These guys are like little trolls, and when they are bored they troll through all of the profiles of women that they had forgotten about due to all of the other options and figure hey? Why not?  Let me try this one again!  It’s absolutely hilarious.  

On the same evening that I was texting with Frederico a message comes in from someone that was programmed in my phone as Maurizio Tinder.  I don’t remember this guy either!  His txt reads.

Maurizio:  hi Danielle!  How are you?

I research again in my Tinder inbox and find him.  He’s another one that just disappeared.

Danielle: hi, wow it’s been a long time.

Maurizio:  yes I know, I had a family emergency and had to go home to Europe for a while.

Danielle:  oh, I hope that everything wih your family is ok.

Maurizio:  thank you, my father passed away.

Oh jeez…ok this guy I’ll let off the hook.

Danielle:  I’m so sorry.

Maurizio: thanks, that’s life.

Maurizio and I have been staying in touch via txt message for almost a week now.  We have plans to see each other this week, I still don’t know very much about him so we shall see.

These little experiences make me think, is it worth it to give someone that you never even met another chance?  Or did it not work out the first time for a reason?  I’ve gone back for seconds before and it hasn’t worked out so why would it with this one?  Stay open right?  Go out of your comfort zone, what do you have to loose?  Time folks, I hate wasting time!  There’s nothing worse that putting yourself out there just to be disappointed again.  Wasting that lipstick again.  But like I’ve said, I’ll do it again.  I am the queen of optimism.  He’s out there somewhere and maybe he’s one that had to give it a second try to come out first.

More to come!  Keep logging on for more drama!

    

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Earlier this week I was walking along 7^th Ave and I passed a group of women having a conversation on a corner. They were focused on one of the women as she was asking them all a question. She was holding her cell phone in her hand and asked them “so do I leave him alone, or not leave him alone?” They all answer in unison, “LEAVE HIM ALONE!” I laughed to myself as I was passing by because I can’t count the amount of times that has been me. Asking friends what should I do when I haven’t heard back from some guy that I texted two days ago, or what should I do when some guy hasn’t asked me for a second date but wants to txt chat everyday.  The scenarios are endless. It’s enough to drive you mad. We women are always over analyzing our actions when it comes to dating. Should I say this or should I say that? Will this make him think I’m needy or will that make him think I’m desperate. Do I sound like a bitch, oh wait I can’t say that because he needs to think I’m unavailable, God forbid I seem available. Like the girls on the street said, leave him alone. We are always taking how they feel in to account and how our actions will affect them, when they definitely are not doing that on their end. What happened to being yourself and doing what you want to do, doing what your first instinct to do is? It’s all an act, a game…..but what happens when you don’t want to play anymore?

I had a few conversations about this on a personal level with a couple of people this week. One was a family member. I was telling her the details of a txt conversation that I had with a man that I had gone on one date with a couple of weeks ago and how he hadn’t asked for a second date in that time but was texting a lot and making dumb back and forth conversation that led nowhere.   He had mentioned that we would have to work something out for the following week and that never happened, so after another week had gone by I had finally put my two cents in by texting to him.

Danielle: So I guess we’re not getting together this week?

We’ll call him Jordan: Wait what? Did I miss something, did we have plans?

Danielle: (nice, you fu%king idiot) No, you never got back to me about a time that worked for you.

Jordan: Oh yeah, sorry, been a crazy busy week at work, so many meetings. We’ll figure something out later.

Danielle: (no response) (yeah ok buddy we’ll see if you contact me to “figure something out”)

I get no message from him later that evening of course. Then the next day, at the end of the day around 5:30pm.

Jordan: Sheesh (he said sheesh?) what a busy day, so I can meet for a drink Friday after dinner, or Sunday afternoon.

(Don’t do me any favors asshole, it’s Thursday mind you, and I don’t do the meeting someone after they have other plans thing for a second date)

Danielle: I have plans.

Jordan: Have fun.

(Seriously? Wow)

Now I know from previous experience that when you get a response like that from a guy it’s an obnoxious stab. It’s amazing that this guy had been texting me and interested from what I could tell, but couldn’t follow through on making plans for two weeks, then I open my mouth to put him on the spot about it and he comes back to me with plans that put me in second place, an after thought, after his dinner plans or before other plans, and on top of that the day before. What did he think , that I’m sitting around waiting for him? Of course I had plans already, it was Thursday. So when my family member hears this and hears my reaction she tells me that I need to loosen up. Wait? Am I overacting here? She thought that he sincerely meant have fun. Ha! Not at all, but just for sh^ts and giggles I put the nice girl reply on and txt him back….

Danielle: Another time maybe?

Jordan: Sounds good, have a good weekend.

Danielle: You too.

Have I heard from him? No. Will I hear from him? Who freaking knows.

My conversation with my family member continued. She then told me that I’ve become bitter; so bitter that it scares her. Am I bitter? Am I harder on these men than I should be? In my experience I’ve dealt with so many different types of let downs that I’m just plain and simple tired of it. I can continue to play the game and go along with these antics until maybe I meet someone that is the real deal? It’s tough.

Another conversation that I had back around Valentines Day was very telling in regards to modern day dating. My friend S (we’ll call her S) was with me and a few other girlfriends for our little single girls Valentines Day Dinner. She was sharing an experience that she had recently had with another girlfriend who’s also single. She had attended one of those “how to get the guy” seminars. It’s hilarious. Thousands of women pay major money to go to these things. They are run by a guy who wrote a book on how to land a man. His advice is full of tactics to supposedly make yourself more attractive to men mentally. It’s the advice that we give all of our fellow single girlfriends. Don’t seem desperate, don’t call back or txt back right away, don’t be available, make him chase you. She said that the women were going crazy for it. This is what it’s come to folks. Seminars on how to date and how to find a mate. Do these people that are making millions on books and seminars really know what it’s like out there? They should read my blog! Ha!

Then there is the conversation that I had with one of my closest friends just the other night. She’s one of my biggest supporters in my dating experiences and journey to find love. I was telling her that the want to meet someone special can consume you, and that I personally find myself scoping out rooms the minute I arrive somewhere to see if there are any potential suitors. I get to the point where I am not even enjoying spending time with friends because I allow it to take over. It’s hard to ignore that ticking clock that is always there in the back of your mind. You want children, and you want love too. There’s not much time. These thoughts get into your head and it destroys you, it clouds you. It’s no longer about loosening up and taking it easy, and it should be easy shouldn’t it?

She then tells me that she feels that I’m not going to meet someone out at the bars or restaurants and thinks it should be through a friend or a friend of a friend and that way there is less pressure. There are so many avenues to venture down in the search for your counterpart. I’ll remain open to all of them, and there will always be bumps and bums in the road.

Share your comments and experiences with me, I want to hear them!

All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. All names used are fictitious.

The owner of dsdatingdramas.com will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

When thinking about all of the potential suitors that have come in and out of my life over the years I always have to sit back and laugh about the things that have been said to me by these lads. Whether it’s via text, email, picture or up close and personal they don’t always have the best way with words. The red flags fly high a lot of the time just from a simple message. I dedicate this piece to you fellas, to the poets, to the modern day Casanova’s.

We can start off with a recent endeavor called Rick. Rick and I met through mutual friends so to speak. He worked for one of my favorite NYC restaurants. You know the saying don’t sh^t where you eat right? Well this fell right into that place.

I was hanging out at the bar at this restaurant after a long lunch with friends and having a fantastic time. Everyone at this place is just lovely. The servers, the bar tenders and the hosts and managers alike. It almost feels like another little family to me. During the conversation that I was having with friends at the bar Rick joined in, through giving us some information about some new things that the restaurant was going to be doing and was quite charming. The conversation went on for a bit and then I realized that I had to leave the group to meet a Tinder date. Remember the one that left when I had hit traffic? Yeah that one. When he realized that I was leaving he offered to walk me out and when he did he asked me where I was off too. I told him about the date and he then tried to convince me to stay and that those silly app dates were no good. We laughed about it and exchanged contact information. As he put me in a cab he said that he would txt me in about 40 minutes to save me from this horrible date, as he knew I was going to be disappointed. I laughed and told him it was a plan. Funny thing is then that dipsh^t took off and the date never happened. The txt comes in from Rick and we are laughing about it. He tells me I told you so and then proceeds to as me for a date. We plan to meet that following week for dinner. Now I had a feeling that Rick most likely was a bit younger than me so I was a touch hesitant because when I have over looked that in the past I have regretted it, but again I said of let’s just see what this guy is about. We are having a lovely time. Turns out we have a lot in common and very similar backgrounds. We were at a communal table at the restaurant we were in so there was another couple sitting on the corner next to us. They start to strike up a conversation with us, which was very nice. At one point the man in this couple asked Rick how old he was. Rick answered and my heart went into my stomach a little. Ugh here we go again. I am approached by younger men quite often for whatever reason, and at that moment I was kind of annoyed that it had happened yet once again. We were having a great time so I figured don’t ruin the night, maybe he’s mature for his age. As soon as the couple we were chatting with leaves I tell Rick that I’m 10 years older then him. He is surprised and tells me that, that doesn’t bother him and that he hopes I’m ok with it. I tell him I was a little hesitant but that he seemed to set himself apart from others his age. We end our night and make plans to get together again soon. He has the restaurant manager schedule so I knew that might be a challenge. We get together one night after he got off of work, which was on the later side around 11pm. I was out with friends for dinner and he met me where we were. He hung out there for a little it and then went to another bar for cocktails. We are having another great time together. We literally close the bar down that night. At one point he started to ask about my past relationships and dating experiences in which I answered very lightly. I felt that maybe it wasn’t the best time to start that conversation at 3am after 4 drinks. He started to say that he asked me that question because he’s complicated to date. What the hell is that supposed to mean? And why are you bringing this up now? It’s the second time I’m seeing you. I give him a confused look and as what he means and he then says never mind I don’t know why I said that. Just forget it. Uh….ok I’ll forget it. We call it a night and make plans to get together in a couple of days. He’s in touch with me daily in the time between and everything seems to be going nicely. We meet for a drink on a night that he had off. We again are having a really nice time until he out of nowhere says to me –“I’m bad news.”

Danielle: What do you mean you’re bad news?

Rick: I’m not easy to date. I have a horrible schedule and very little free time.

Danielle: I’m perfectly aware of what you do and the schedule that comes with it. I’m still here.

Rick: Well I’m afraid to take this any further and it not work out because of it. I’m complicated to date and you come to my restaurant a lot and I wouldn’t ever want you to be mad at me if this didn’t work out.

Danielle: Rick I just wanted to come meet you for a drink. Why are we talking about this? We are still getting to know each other. There’s no need to get ahead of yourself here. If things don’t work out I could only hope that you would be an adult about it as I would where the restaurant is concerned.

Rick: I know, you’re right. I’m sorry I don’t know why I brought it up. I just don’t want to get more into it and it not work out.

Danielle: That’s life Rick, sometimes things don’t work out but if you nip them in the bud before you’ve given them a chance you never know.

Rick: Ugh, I’m so sorry can we forget I brought it up?

Danielle: Unfortunately no. When someone tells me that they are bad news that’s a red flag. I don’t need this, this soon, I just wanted to meet you for a drink and spend time with you. Now I just want to go home.

Rick: Danielle please I’m sorry I didn’t want this to happen.

Danielle: Well it did. I’m gonna go.

I walk out and he walks with me. I hail a cab and he tells me one more time that this wasn’t what he wanted to happen. I just looked at him, kinda shrugged and took off. He text me again while I was in the car, “I really didn’t want that to happen”, I text back “well unfortunately it did”. I never heard from him again. Seriously gotta stay away from the young’uns. They have heads way too big for their bodies. Talk about having a way with words. Get over yourself buddy.

It’s also easy to get caught up in words. I can’t tell you the amount of times that I’m texting with someone (cuz everybody just loves to txt) after just connecting with them and they are ready to fly you to DR for a romantic weekend, and shower you with compliments. It’s lovely at the time and you want to believe it but you know you can’t. You kind of have to be like -slow down dear you know you don’t mean these things -so please don’t say them. I started talking to this guy Adam. We connected on Happn. From his profile he seems like a good catch. Handsome, good job, nice hobbies, lives in the five boroughs, lol. We have a good back and forth going and we get to the point where we talk about meeting. He then tells me that he’s going to be travelling for the next couple of weeks so it will have to be when he gets back. Uh ok, I don’t really understand why he would start a conversation and go on and on about how happy he is that we connected when he wouldn’t be able to meet for another two weeks! Out of sight/txt out of mind. That’s just the way the dating world works. I mention to him that it’s too bad he will be gone and I guess we’ll have to make plans when he gets back. He then tells me he’ll stay in touch and send me pictures of his trip…blah bah blah. Have I gotten one message since he left? Of course not! Just don’t feed us with bullshit. We’ll have more respect for you I promise. Next!

Then I went on a date with this guy James. He and I had connected on a dating website about a year ago. Spoke via email a little and he never asked me out. Lost touch with him on that site and then we connected again on two other dating apps. At that point it had become comical. We matched on both Tinder and Happn. If your both clicking yes or swiping to the right you would think that there’s some kind of common interest in meeting in person right? Well with this one I decided to mess with him about it bit. When we matched on Happn, I sent him a note that said. “well look at that, we match again and still no date, lol”. Always have to put the lol in there for these guys and their sensitive heads. He replied “lol! I know right? Lets def make it happen this time”. Unbelievable. He sends me a txt off of the app and we go back and forth very little. Still no mention of a date. He txts me randomly for over two weeks until one time I simply just don’t txt him back. Another week goes by and then a txt from him pops up that says “so when are you available to get together?” Wow! He grew a set and finally asked me out, who knew it was possible! We meet for a drink and when he shows up I’m surprised that he actually looked like his pictures and was very cute. I figured from all of the stalling in finally getting together that he was going to show up and I wouldn’t recognize him. We had good conversation and seemed to be on the same page in what we were looking for in a relationship and life for that matter. The date ended well and I was off. He txt me the very next morning and started a long txt conversation. He got very detailed in his questions. He wanted to know a lot of very intimate things and when I told him that those were things I thought better to discover about one another in person he said that he likes to know these things in advance so he doesn’t waste time. Really? Do you know how many dumb men have wasted my time? That’s life. It doesn’t come with a questionnaire that you fill out. This guy wanted to know if I’m a cuddler or if I need my space at night when in bed. He also asked other pretty sexual questions that I definitely wasn’t comfortable with. I told him to relax with the questions and he backed off a little and played the- I didn’t think you would be so shy card. Really dude?   I then mentioned getting together again and he wasn’t free for a while so I guess we’ll see if he actually asks for another date. I’ll be sure to keep everyone posted because I have a feeling that one is going to be a good story regardless.

Just this week I was out with one of my closest friends for dinner after work. We went to a place that always has a very vibrant bar scene with lots of “potential bachelors” there. Well on this night besides the majority of them being married, we had a couple of real gems standing next to us at the bar. My friend and I decided to have a little food at the bar. When the bread came out one of the men standing next to us who bore a strong resemblance to Humpty Dumpty, leaned over and said

Random Man: Oh you’re doing it all wrong.

Danielle: I’m sorry what?

Random Man: You shouldn’t eat the garlic bread. You’ve gotta save the carbs for dessert. That bread is so bad for you.

Danielle: Well I would eat this bread over dessert any day. I’m not a big dessert person. (My friend nods her head and agrees).

Random Man: Oh but they have the oreo cannoli here. Those are worth the carbs.

Danielle & Friend: We’re good with what we’ve got thanks. (we turn ourselves away a little as to not be disturbed again)

We had ordered a charcuterie plate as our dinner to share. A large platter comes out with lovely cured meats and cheeses. We are enjoying our food immensely. The other guy of the two then leans over to my friend and says

Random 2: Wow you girls really devoured that meat. Lucky for me I don’t have a slab of prosciutto strapped to my leg.

Friend Sara: Seriously? Danielle: Get lost buddy!

Lucky for us they didn’t eat us for dinner.

Number one didn’t your mommy tell you that it’s rude to comment on other people’s food? Number two definitely time to think of better pick up lines, good luck.

It’s a jungle out there folks, bad news everywhere you turn. Just gotta keep your head up and read those red flags.

Please share your comments!  I want to hear them!  More to come!

All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. All names used are fictitious.

The owner of dsdatingdramas.com will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information

The straw that broke this camel’s back….

I can’t even count the number of times that I’ve said, that’s it! I’m taking all of the dating apps and site profiles down! That date that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Let’s face it; dating is hard, and dating in nyc? Ridiculously hard. Putting yourself out there isn’t easy. We are human and we all fear rejection. It’s how we choose to deal with it right? Now for me as a woman I started to think about all of the things that I do to keep myself what I would consider well put together and remain a good catch. Gym, hair, makeup, staying abreast of the latest fashion trends. Then when out on dates, smiling, laughing at jokes, even when they aren’t funny (and that happens a lot), trying to appear interested and engaged and not zone out when I’m being bored to death. Now these things are hard enough when you’re on a date with someone that you met out in person. They are 10 times worse when it’s someone from a dating app or website. This is so because they are pretty much blind dates. You may see a picture and read a profile, but most of the time it’s a bunch of lies, and you put yourself out there, doll yourself up and most of the time it’s very disappointing.

So there was this guy that I met on Tinder. Gotta love good old Tinder. He had a very wanna be regal name like Ashton Ascott the third. We match and start to txt on the app. He doesn’t ask me much about me except for where in the city I live and then gets right to lets meet for a drink. We pick a night and the plan is set. Now between our txt conversation and the day that we were supposed to meet I heard nothing from him so I was a little uneasy about it because I would have liked to have chatted more and gotten a little more info about this guy before meeting him. But believe it or not this kind of thing happens quite often with these do di do’s (phrase I picked up from a dear friend) from Tinder. It’s a Friday night. I send him a text on the day that we are supposed to meet a couple of hours before the time we agreed on to see if we were still on. He replies yes see you there. I’m heading uptown to meet him and I hit traffic, pretty bad traffic. For my fellow New Yorkers, we all know that traffic is quite common in the city and especially on a Friday night. I txt him to let him know that I’ve hit some traffic and that I’m running a bit late and apologize for it as well. He replies….

Ashton: you better be sexy… what do you think your eta will be?

Danielle: (what? Did he seriously just say you better be sexy?, I ignore it and don’t comment on that because I’m already on my way unfortunately) “I’m thinking I should be there in another 15 minutes or so”.

Ashton: Well I’m leaving in 5.

Danielle: Seriously? I hit traffic, there’s nothing I can do to get there any faster.

Ashton: Being 15-20 minutes late is straight up rude, get some manners.

Danielle: Wow you’re a dick. I had a feeling this was a waste of time.

Ashton: Good luck to you.

Danielle: Good luck yourself buddy, you’re gonna need it.

Now I think that is a pretty good straw no? So I’m going through with it, everything is coming down. Figure I’m gonna meet someone the old fashioned way…….. Then I think to myself, well I’ve met crazy weirdo’s in person too.

This guy Philippe. I actually met him when getting off of the subway one day. He approached me as I had just gotten out and he came up to me and said that he had seen me on the train and wanted to introduce himself. We spoke for a few minutes and discovered that we both worked in the area that we were. He then asked me if he could take me out for a coffee one day. I gave him my number and we made a plan. We met the next day for coffee and he was very nice, good looking and smart. We had fun and a lot to talk about so made plans for a dinner date. Turns out that he lived in my neighborhood as well so we picked a place there. We had drinks and dinner and had a really nice time. At the end of the night he offered to walk me home and I accepted. When we get to my apt building I say goodnight and we have a very nice kiss. I turn away to walk into my building and he starts to follow me. I look to him and say noooooo, you’re not coming in.

Philippe: But I have to use your bathroom.

Danielle: (Did he just seriously use the can I use your bathroom sh%t?) You can use the bathroom when you get home. (he has now followed me into the vestibule of my building)

Philippe: Please I really have to go. (he was quite intoxicated)

Danielle: I said no, you need to head home (he starts to turn around and I then unlock the door to the building, he then turns back around and starts to come inside. I push him back and say) “what do you think you’re doing? Go home! You’ve officially ruined a nice evening”.

I had to push so hard to make sure that the door closed and locked in front of him. I was actually scared at one point. I get inside of my apt and calm myself down. He then starts to blow up my phone, calling, texting for over an hour. Saying that he was waiting outside because he wanted to apologize. Unreal! Another BLOCK!

Then there was my Jdate reunion experience. Ah Darren from Jdate. We met about 15 years ago on Jdate and were seeing each other for about a month, but I was a child at the time and cut him loose for whatever reason. I do remember having a touch of regret about that a little while after but cest la vie. Fast forward 15 years and we reconnect on POF. He’s legally separated and still cute as ever. Living in NJ still which eh I wasn’t thrilled about but hey you never know. We go on another first date all these years later and it was just great. He looked great and we still had the chemistry and connection that we always did. We start to see quite a bit of each other, even to the point where he managed to get me out to NJ a few times. Then one day I get a phone call from him and he said that we needed to talk. Ok about what? He mentioned that he had just gotten his credit card bill and it made him realize that with his divorce and how much it was costing him that he can’t afford to date someone that lives in nyc because it’s just too expensive for him right now. I respected his honesty and was actually pretty bummed about it. We came to and understanding because we wanted to continue seeing each other. We would do more things at his place or mine like cooking dinner and watching a movie and not always having to be out. I love stuff like that so it wasn’t a big deal to me. Then it was my birthday and he planned a night out and we were having the best time. Gives me a beautiful heartfelt card that says he’s so happy that we came back into each other’s lives and he can’t wait to see where it goes. At one point he asks if he can use my phone because he had left his at my apt to charge. Sure no problem. He logs into a site where he can read his text messages that are coming into his phone. The next day I open safari on my phone and of course the last site that was opened pops up. I have view of all of Darren’s text messages because dummy didn’t log out. I couldn’t help but see a full conversation that took place literally one hour after he left my place to head home to NJ. It was a conversation with Julie POF (programmed in his phone). He is asking her for a date that coming week. I know that we hadn’t had the seeing one another exclusively discussion but I didn’t really think that we had to. And not for nothing he text her within one hour of leaving me! I didn’t need this sh&t. I wait it out for the right time to mention what I had discovered and when it came I explained to him that I had seen the text because he left his account opened on my phone. He went back into his $$ issue and then tied in that he may not even be ready to be dating so soon after splitting with his ex-wife at only a year being past. This is also after I had met his parents that previous weekend as well. Make up your freaking mind dude! Needless to say I ended it. Good riddance.

So, I can take all of the apps down and try it the good old fashioned way but crazy is still always going to be out there. It safe to say that I will always go back to the sites as another outlet to meet someone; and why do I do it? Why do we all do it? Because at the end of the day we all just want to be loved. To be needed. And as crazy as it seems, when that little bell or chime goes off on your phone “you’re a match!”- Your little heart flutters just a touch.

It flutters with hope.

Keep the Hope Alive Through The Drama! More to come!

All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. All names used are fictitious.

The owner of dsdatingdramas.com will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

I don’t know about you but I have had many amazing flashback conversations with friends reminiscing on random and crazy dudes I’ve dated, gone on one lonesome date with or even just started communication that led to no in person meeting, and for good reason. Here’s a tribute to them, to the random’s……

I remember that guy that….

Showed up for a date and I didn’t even know who he was when he approached me because he had fake pictures up on Match. I looked at him and said “I’m sorry, do we know each other?”, “Yeah it’s me Scott, we have a date tonight, from Match”.

Danielle: wait…what? Did you put up pictures of someone else? You’re literally a different person.

Scott: Silence….(staring at me)…..silence…..uh, what do you mean? Some of my pictures may be old.

Danielle: Seriously? I mean you have pictures of someone else up on your profile creep. Thanks for wasting my time.

I turned around and walked out.

Remember that guy…..

John that took me out on one date and at the end of the night as I was getting into a cab whispered in my ear that he had a 9” penis.

The next day he sent me a txt message that said Happy Tuesday! With a picture of his penis! OMG!!! Freak!

I remember that guy….

Edward that lived in Weehawken NJ and only wanted to hang out in NJ near his apt. Oh yeah….he liked to send penis pics too. Really?

There’s

Road Rage Rob….that almost got us killed in his fancy Jaguar a ton of times. This one stopped in the middle of the BQE once, got out of his car and started a fight with another driver while I was sitting in the car. He was also running late in picking me up one day by over an hour and when I called him to see what the holdup was he told me that when he’s coming to get me I need to sit in my apt and wait for him, and he gets there when he gets there, and I’m not to ask any questions. I then told him to turn around and never call me again.

Then this guy that….

Took me on a date and in the middle of it mentioned that he was divorced with two teenage kids, with an ex-wife that lived next door to him and….. oh yeah in a kibbutz.

The Brit psychologist/musician that took me on a date to see a live blues band, we ordered a few rounds of drinks and two appetizers that we shared. Everything came to about $60.00 in total. When the bill came he turns to me and says “would you mind splitting this with me? I’m not making very much money right now”. Huh? Again? I just can’t take it! If you can’t afford to take a girl out then don’t ask her out!!! A couple weeks later he sends me a text that says “where’d you disappear to?” I went to the ATM buddy, I’ll be right back.

There’s Liam who took me out a few times. Once for drinks another night for sushi, and another night for a drink. After those dates and trying to see if there was any spark worthwhile there I felt that there really wasn’t. I hadn’t heard from him in about 4 days and I didn’t contact him. That Friday night I get a txt from him that says “is everything ok? Haven’t heard from you”.

Danielle: Well I haven’t heard from you either. Been a busy week.

Liam: Well I miss you and want to see you.

Danielle: Well you should have let me know so we could have made plans.

Liam: Well I always want to see you.

Danielle: I can’t know that if you don’t tell me. (Duh) I’m out with friends and have to get back to the table.

Liam: Ok have fun.

Two days later, haven’t heard from him and then on a Sunday a txt comes through saying.

“I’m not really sure what it is that you’re pulling here but I’ve taken you out multiple times making it rain (yes he said making it rain! Haha) like you were a longtime girlfriend. What’s the problem?” It’s always the ones that you don’t click with that act like that.

This guy Taylor that I had met at one of my go to watering holes through mutual friends. He asks me out, we make a plan. I txt him to confirm the time and he gets back to me almost two hours later which was then past the time that we had agreed on meeting, and says I decided to go to a movie instead. Huh? What is wrong with people?

Then there was this restaurant owner that I went out with a few times, super handsome and nice, bright and had good chemistry. One our 5^th date he mentions that he was involved in a religious group (cult if you ask me) that was very important in his life and he would require that I join it if he was to continue seeing me.

Then we have the tinder randoms that love to chat you up for hours and then poof! They disappear without a trace and no communication to be heard of again. Along with the weirdo’s that start out with normal conversation and then all of a sudden they want you to send them more pictures of yourself. Buddy I have plenty of pictures up on my profile and unlike most people on the app they are actually recent and 100% representative of my physical appearance. Then when you refuse to send the pics and no longer respond hours later you get a message that reads “well fu$k then you flat chested hoe”. Nice, real nice fellas. BLOCK!

Ah so many lovely memories…..like the corners of my mind……

More to come! Follow me for more drama.

All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. All names used are fictitious.

The owner of dsdatingdramas.com will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

         “Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that                dweam wifin a dweam…” William Goldman, The Princess Bride

 

I am most definitely one of those women that when first encountering a man in any way checks for a wedding ring. When I don’t see one I usually would assume that he’s single, meaning not married at least. That is a thing of the past. Rings don’t mean shit a lot of the time. Well…they didn’t to this guy….

Many moons ago it was a Thursday night after work. I’m out with some friends at a local watering hole near to my office. We had been going to this place quite often as it was conveniently located, and we all know when it comes to drinking establishments the easier to get to, the better. There was a bar tender there that became known to us and we to him, and on this night he started up a conversation that wasn’t the usual hi how are you, what’s your poison tonight. He had overheard my girlfriend and I talking about dates that we had recently been on and how they were quite dull etc and he leaned over the bar to me and asked “so would you go on a date with me if I asked you?” I replied with “are you single?” We’ll call him Robert.

Robert: yes I’m single and I’ve always noticed you when you come into the bar. I’ve wanted to ask you out for quite a while actually. (he is not wearing a wedding ring of any type)

Danielle: oh is that so? Ok, so I’ll let you take me out on a date.

Robert: great, write down your number and I’ll call you to make plans.

I write down my number on a cocktail napkin and pass it to Robert. He txt messaged me the next day asking me for a date that week. We get together for dinner and drinks and he starts to tell me some more about himself. Turns out that he is actually the owner of the bar which he tends and owns another bar in that neighborhood as well. His family has quite the history in the nyc bar business and it’s all quite interesting. We have a great time, get along well, have chemistry, we laugh. All of the ingredients needed are there. At the end of our night he asks me for another date. This date is to a basketball game where he has a skybox with the private bar tender, catered food, the works. We get there and it’s a shared box with some other people. He knew most of the people that were there but not all of them. It seemed to be a mix of people in the beverage industry. He introduced me to pretty much everyone that was there. It was a fun night; the Knicks actually won that night so it even had a great ending in that aspect. We then make plans for another date. Now with the planning of this third date he explained to me that his hours were always going to be tight due to the bars, and he having to be there a lot, in addition to meetings that he has with liquor suppliers etc, so over the next couple of weeks I only saw him when he could make it happen and sometimes it was only for a quick drink because he had to leave for an “appointment”. I also never saw him on weekends. Now silly me, I didn’t ever think it was more than him being really busy as a business owner with limited time. While it was frustrating and a bit annoying at times I went with it.

It’s a Sunday. I’m having brunch cocktails with a couple of girlfriends and we are sitting at the bar. Robert and I had been texting most of the morning and he was going to try to come and have dinner with me later, but he didn’t know for sure. I was of course annoyed at that and was venting about the situation to my friends as my phone starts to ring…….. its Robert. I answer the phone and it’s a woman’s voice on the other end that says….

Mystery Woman: who is this?

Danielle: who is this?

MW: who the fu%k is this?

Danielle: excuse me you called my phone who are you?

MW: I’m Robert’s wife

Danielle: are you fuc%ing kidding me?

MW: no I’m not kidding you, who are you and how long have you been seeing my husband? Do you have a dog? Does it have white hair? He’s been coming home with white dog hair all over his clothes and jacket (obviously I’m not the only one Robert has been seeing that isn’t his wife, I have no white dog), she was on fire.

Danielle: no I don’t have a dog, and I had no idea that he was married. I’m sorry. Please take this up with him and don’t call me again.

I hang up and I am shaking. Never in my life has anything like this happened. It’s a feeling way down deep in the pit of your stomach that makes you physically ill. Betrayal, and not just the betrayal that I’m feeling from Robert but the betrayal that he is committing to his wife. It’s just disgusting. I’m hysterical and run to the bathroom to get myself together. My two friends are in shock and are trying to help get me through this intense scene. At one point one of my girlfriends had to answer my phone and tell her that we were going to call the police if she didn’t stop calling. This is insane! This is not my life right now. Roberts’s wife then continues to blow up my phone and won’t stop calling. Leaving harassing messages and text messages by the minute. Obviously I barely sleep that night. The next day she starts sending me wedding photos, yes she sends me wedding photos of the two of them, tells me that the bars he owns she owns with him and that they have been married for almost two years, straight up crazy bird. This continues into that evening with call and txts to the point that I had to turn my phone off.

I had plans for dinner a couple of days later with some other friends who I had brought up to speed on the situation. The calls and txts had not stopped. We were sitting in the restaurant and the wife is calling me again. My friend Mike looks at me and says let me answer it this time. He answers and tells this woman that if she calls me again we are going to the police and that she needs to stop or there will be problems. She tells him that she just wants to know if we had been sleeping together and once she knows that she will go away. He tells her that we weren’t and that this needs to be taken up with Robert not me.

The phone calls and txts finally stop. Over the next few days it all started to make sense. This guy couldn’t see me because he had to get home to his wife! But this guy had balls. He took me to places where he knew people. He would sneak out from behind the bar to meet me by the restrooms to give me a quick kiss when I would come to have drinks at his bar, never any kind of contact when I was there. Looking back I would always get looks like who is this chick? Uncomfortable looks, but you don’t see it until after the fact. It’s crazy. Then I started beating myself up. How did I not put this all together? On top of this I could no longer go to one of my favorite watering holes now, what a freaking jerk! Wait screw that, that’s my bar and I’m not letting this cheating piece of shit take that away from me.

I let a month go by and then some friends and I decide that we’re going to give him the scare of a lifetime. We go in for drinks. He looked like he was going to shit his pants when I walked in. I kept to myself didn’t interact, but made sure that he was nervous the whole time. Thinking, shit….is she a crazy chick that’s going to blow up my spot or not? This gave me my closure. I left and never went back. Crazy thing too, about a year later I was swiping away on Tinder out of boredom and there was Robert in all his glory! Haha….what a scumbag.

So we add to the interview list…..

Do you have a criminal record? Are you married? Ring or no ring folks, ask the question.

More to come next week!

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All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. All names used are fictitious.

The owner of dsdatingdramas.com will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.